Lip Service
1:11 pm
Sat January 1, 2011

Six-Word South Florida Memoirs

“Man, she don’t speak no Spanish!”
(What I heard as I was getting checked out by one African American man and two Latinos while buying a cafe con leche in Hialeah.)
Tara Kray, Gainesville

Born and raised; a rare breed.
Mallory Colliflower, Hollywood

Best compliment: white boy’s got rhythym!
Marc Rabinowitz, New York City

My favorite place. Family, sun, ocean.
Elaine Cyr, Boca Raton

Sunshine. Chaos. Friends. Family. Love It.
Blanca Stella Mejia, Miami

Poolboy, where’s my mojito? I’m thirsty.
Kevin Cobb, Fort Lauderdale

Sun. Rain. Sun. Rain. Sun Rain.
Andres Almeida, Fort Lauderdale

Old leathery Canadians in Speedos. Gross!
Elaine Cyr, Boca Raton

Snowbirds that can’t drive on I-95!
Elaine Cyr, Boca Raton

Boca: More plastic than recycling plant.
Elaine Cyr, Boca Raton

Robert’s Rules. Condo meeting. Chaos prevails.
Leonard Nash, Hollywood

Birth. School. Sun. Work. Food. Death.
Deb Griffith, Plantation

For sale. Baby shoes. Size 12.
Jake Cline, Hollywood

Pool baseball with the radio on.
Rob Budowsky, Hollyweird

Born, raised, love, hate, can’t escape.
Alex Vidal, Pompano Beach

The land of misfit mental toys.
Benny, Fort Lauderdale

Hot, sticky, ridiculous. I am out.
Miranda Mulligan, Boston

Oye chica culture shock a go-go.
Leticia de Mello Bueno, Miami

Escaped Kendall; Found the real Miami.
Leah Weston, South Miami

Sunset in Key Largo, the best!
Leslie Hannah Skinner, Key Largo

Familiarity without depth may breed contempt.
Anonymous

Spanish beats, salty lips, sandy feet.
Leticia de Mello Bueno, Miami

Nerdy was sexy, fifty pounds ago.
@MzMayhem2You

Feels like you need a passport.
Benny, Fort Lauderdale

It is too hot out there.
Garrett Mickley, Jupiter

Well, my sun burn is back.
Garrett Mickley, Jupiter

Gringo=speaker, porkfat=government, silicone=beauty?
J. Wolfe, Coral Gables

Miami, like sunlight, booze, seeped in.
Kristin Eleazer

Retired, kinda. Now working the muse.
Robert H. Lyle, Lauderdale by the Sea

So much more than South Beach.
Lisa Cawley, Kendall

Embarrassing relative; I really love you.
Trina Sargalski, Miami

Mojitos aren’t just for girls anymore.
Leticia de Mello Bueno, Miami

Oigo! Coconutty sweat, BOOMCHACKABOOM leaping lizards.
Gretchen S., Coral Gables

Bootilicious before J-Lo made it sexy.
@MzMayhem2You

Oye, mi socio – Compromiso ain’t compromise!
@MzMayhem2You

Late ‘cuz we’re under the sun.
@MzMayhem2You

How did I become my mother?
Marika Lynch, Miami

We come visit our great daughter.
Frank Popper, Highland Park, New Jersey

First Florida summer: braised in sweat.
Jan Becker, Pompano Beach

I was My-AM-uh. Now I’m Miami.
Larry “Bud” Meyer, Morningside/Miami

Warm and weird, pastel and pastelitos.
Larry “Bud” Meyer, Morningside/Miami

Cacaphonous, ceaseless, coral, conundrum — Cane City.
Larry “Bud” Meyer, Morningside/Miami

Fun in sun followed by hangover.
Chris Ossman, Kendall

Surrounded by assholes. Ugh, the humidity.
Joel Kodner, South Floriduh

Defrauded America to buy the governorship.
Joel Kodner (@NotRickScott)

Rolling down hills at Greynolds park.
Janis Scharf, Davie

¿Oye asere, que bolá mi socio?
Steve Roitstein, North Miami

Cafe con leche is my drug.
Steve Roitstein, North Miami

I can’t help it; I’m Cubanized.
Steve Roitstein, North Miami

Get done before 1; pouring rain.
Leticia de Mello Bueno, Miami

I’m the lost shaker of salt.
Leticia de Mello Bueno, Miami

Didn’t shoot guns. Made cookies instead.
Melissa (@_melississippi)

It was “Maiammuh,” now its “Meeahmee.”
Steve Roitstein, North Miami

Rushing for naught; waiting for treasure.
Surey, Miami

Forty-one years of bitching about humidity.
Marc Kevin Hall, Unincorporated Miami (Miami Shores/North Miami area)

Our calendar revolves around “the season.”
Steve Roitstein, North Miami

Funky roadside attractions, all now defunct.
Marc Kevin Hall, Unincorporated Miami (Miami Shores/North Miami area)

Still an outsider, like everyone here.
Marc Kevin Hall, Unincorporated Miami (Miami Shores/North Miami area)

Life without snow, but, whoa, hurricanes!
Robert, Hollywood

There’s a gator in my pool.
Mallory Colliflower, Hollywood

Leaving since the day I arrived.
Paula Niño, Miami Shores

¿Habla español? Eske ou pale kreyòl?
Marc Kevin Hall, Unincorporated Miami (Miami Shores/North Miami area)

Crucifix nestled between giant fake tits.
Joe Clifford, Hollywood

Please feed me and my baby.
Sarah Pearsall, West Palm Beach

Beach High Education. Honors Teen Mom.
Edurne Poggi, Miami Beach

Sweating at peninsula’s tip to eighties radio.
Stephanie Howard, Kendall

Sadly, blood’s not thicker than humidity.
Stephanie Howard, Kendall

Fifth-generation Floridian. Hates Jimmy Buffett.
Jake Cline, Hollywood

Raised in Davie. Not a redneck.
Jake Cline, Hollywood

Uncle Luke for Mayor? Check Yes.
Carlos Frias, Miramar

At least it’s a humid heat.
Carlos Frias, Miramar

Say hello to my little friend.
Eddie Serrano, Hialeah

Driving the 7-mile bridge munching arepas.
Andrea Wulkan, Broward

Miami lights. Jewels on black velvet.
Fay Aronson, Coral Gables

Even the mannequins have fake boobs.
Benny, Fort Lauderdale

Walking The Edge at America’s Edge.
Carlos Miller, Miami

Mini dinosaurs are the real majority.
Leticia de Mello Bueno, Miami

Last run, but Columbian jail sucks.
John Doe, PineCrest

Moved to Miami and never left.
Danny Rivero, Miami

Never thought I would be back!
Pam Suchman, Coral Gables

I don’t want to play this.
Abraham, Hialeah

Adventurous, naive, broke, hungry, stable, content.
Irene Schoenfeld-Diaz, Plantation

I read too many romance novels.
Tiffany Wingard, Tampa

Campfire cooking with friends I love.
Peggy Sue Wingard, Kendall

Walked into WLRN; I’m still standing.
Adrianna Prothero, Silver Bluff

Walked into WLRN; refused to leave.
Sammy Mack, Downtown

I loved. I lost. Still here.
C.S. Oaksmith, Coral Gables

Single forty-something woman exploring her options.
Vikki, Coconut Grove

Laugh and love despite your surroundings.
Elena, Doral

We love to hate our city.
Leticia de Mello Bueno, Miami

Totally serendipitous Vermont transplant healer goddess.
Nancy Clarke, Miami

Jailhouse teacher, made it out alive!
Marjorie Waterman, Miami

Expected disappointment, found interest and engagement.
Karal Hansen, South Beach

Wander in to porn-shoot? Only South Beach.
Anonymous

Oh my God; living in paradise.
Anonymous

A nostalgic journey thru sand & surf.
Maria A. Gonzalez, Miami

Pale Italian dancer, coach, daughter, wife.
Cee, Coconut Grove

Things have really changed last years.
Nicole, South Miami

Almost died twice; seven lives left.
Rosalyn Kaplus, Aventura

Miamian Lawyer, legislator, regent, husband, father.
Murray Dubbin, Miami

My am a Miami Native.
Lori Dubbin, Miami

Florida Native with 4 sons, 10 grands.
Helene Dubbin, Miami

Child, student, husband, father, lawyer.
Sam Dubbin, Miami

Amo a Miami. Sol, palmeras, café.
Ana Maria Ortega

I am Latina. I am Miami.
Victoria Alpurus, Miami

I am self-actualizing in Miami, Fl.
Lynn Herald, The Roads

Skin cancer at 16. Moved away.
Becky, Coconut Grove

Third world island feels like home.
Lane Sell, Miami

Stubbornly kiss cheeks in the northeast.
Ali Seitz, Miami/NYC

My life revolves around my next dessert.
Margery Berger, Miami

Packed up and moved to Miami.
Kimberly, Palmetto Bay

I work at the word pile.
Rick Hirsch, Miami Beach

Be careful – I might curse!
Cindy Schwartz, Kendall

Learned the words resources, volunteerism, extracurricular.
Andrew Robert Hyde, Midtown

I am going to the Bar.
Scot Coloney, Ft. Lauderdale

Anticipation, friends, spiritual, careers, father, next?
Carole McConnell, Coconut Creek

New York-Amsterdam lifestyle in South Florida.
Renee de Leaune, Ft. Lauderdale

Okie from Maskogee, well Miami now.
Lisa Ware, South Beach

One vodka, two vodkas, three … FLOOR.
Nikki Worsnop, Ft. Lauderdale

Born, raised 33176 just moved 33156.
Anthony Akowitz, Pinecrest

We just moved here last week.
Anand Narasiman, Coral Gables

Bionic hips sure are wonderful!
Evelyn Weiner, Ohio & Bay Harbor

Hippie Chick joins Mom, publishes books.
Kim Weiss, Boyton Beach

Juray. So Sad. Then juicy joyful.
Lisa McCourt, Boca Raton

Sancing in Fields of Endless possibilities.
Angelina Guerra, Hallendale

After Michigan Winters, South Florida is bliss.
Laura Kohn-Wood, Coral Gables

Single Married Divorced Single Married Divorced.
Valerie Garazi, Ft. Lauderdale

Wanted adventures in life. Matured in Miami.
Laura Coburn, Cutler Bay

Upagain, downagain, inagain, outagain, onagain, offagain.
George Colony, Ft. Lauderdale

Born, lived, gay, loved, children, surviving.
Anna Harriwozon, Miami Springs

Never planned, live Miami LOVE IT!
Loren Pulitzer, Coconut Grove

Gay man, Cuban refugee, loves life!
Roberto A. Fernandez, Miami

Kin color smells foreign languages relief.
Minst Henidrds, Miami Springs

Love hard, live strong, go gators.
Julia Hammond, Miami Shores

Even generations of Miami made me.
Ellie Groden, Plantation

Warmth, love, family, life is good.
Reina Lipkind, Miami Beach

Very Very Very lucky; I am.
Lee Gonzales, Cooper City

Young, parents, memories, older, own memories.
Ofelia Minagorri, Coral Gables

A big change from the Northeast!
Leanne Rutter, Pinecrest

Ice cream plus me equals love.
Jordan Payne, Coral Gables

Californian shamelessly followed true love here.
Laura Payne, Coral Gables

Put your head in my hands.
Chris Adams, Rutland, VT

Gay athlete, empathetic with a brain.
Gene Sulzberger, Brickell

Born and always lived in Miami.
Sonya Rapee, Aventura

Married, Kids, Divorced, Looking, Married, Divorced.
Elaine Silny-Baesa, Kendall

Hialeah Salsa Queen to business owner.
Rebecca Ruiz, Miami

Frizzy hair now gorgeous in Vermont.
Sheryl Rutland, VT

Native Floridian stuck in sand.
Elyse, North Bay Village

Was aggressive before, less so now.
Michael McConnell, Coconut Creek

It all began in a hottub.
Tere, Miami

1960, Cubans cant rent here! Ha!
Maria de Escandalo, Coral Gables

Moved here to windsurf, still sailing.
Steve Winsberg

Bipolar, has its ups and downs.
Wanda Movedsto, CA

Astounded by implants and impractical shoes.
Jane N, Currently in the ether

Culture shock: strange food, lizard attack.
Kathy Hirch, Granite Falls, MO

One of eight two of hundreds.
Linda Smith, Miami Shores